The removal of the charms had other effects. I began to dream. I started on the first floor, seeing the curling flame fill the fireplace and spreading outward as roots and limbs of a great tree supporting the house. Contained in the fire was a jeweled egg, somehow not being scorched by the roaring flame. I knew strange things that I could not speak. I felt her essence winged and aflame and flanked by shadows. Roses seemed to tumble from the branches that were the walls of the house, overpowering me with their scent. As my specter wandered the halls, I felt her magic embedded in every part of the house. I knew that she had become something marked by the scent of fire and roses."
- from "The House of Longing"Today I worked a bit on the Firebird route. To me, the Firebird is a creature of desire, creation, and destruction.
In the past it had a different name and belonged to someone else so I can only really guess at what it originally represented... But maybe one who once burned bright, and through hardships has burnt to ash and smolders.
Over time, I've come to associate the renamed Firebird with candles, roses, and the sun along with blessings, self-imposed curses, the spark of desire, the spark of creation... It makes me think of beginnings, the yearning for something to begin, burning to emergy, and the sacrifices made to burn that brightly.
When I think of the time that inspired the game, I look at it with wonder and despair. I wonder if I'll ever experience anything like that again. I felt so alive, like every word and moment mattered. I felt like I could feel fate unfolding, its touch in everything. It can't be too late, right? What if the fire's gone out? I'd give almost anything to step back into such a story...
There's a joy, an ecstasy, a madness in creating when that magic, that energy is upon you. I feel the most real in those moments... like every secret part of my mind and soul makes sense. Like there's a perfect mystery to me being the exact soul that I am, having experienced exactly the life I have. It's almost like no one could have made this art but me... No one can open this gate but me and every mundane detail becomes bathed in light, anointed with meaning...
Uh, yeah. I didn't expect to get so into it but... that's the Firebird I guess!